The Christmas Creep
After more than sixteen
centuries, Santa still got a thrill when Christmas finally arrived. He
literally existed for the day and the season, brought into being through sheer
belief and the Powers That Be, though he’d evolved
with the holiday over the years. Popular culture had both expanded and focused
his role over the last century, making him truly a force to be reckoned with in
his particular domain.
“Bring
her down, Rudolph,” Santa called out, tugging gently on the reigns to guide his
well-trained team down toward Kiritimati, aka Christmas Island, where they
traditionally began the gift deliveries. Santa had settled in to delivering
gifts promptly at midnight in accordance with local time zones and the
International Date Line. That Christmas Island was first was merely a happy
coincidence which always brought a smile to his rosy cheeks.
The team landed his sleigh
on the first house, politely ignoring the fact its roof was entirely too small
for such an arrangement, and Santa hopped out with a nimbleness that defied his
girth. A bag of gifts slung over his shoulder, he slipped down a ventilation
pipe (fireplaces being rather uncommon in the South Pacific) and into the
living room.
A small, artificial tree sat
in the corner, lit festively in red and green lights, with an assortment of
wrapped gifts all around the base. Stockings, meanwhile, were hung along a
bookshelf, and a plate of cookies was waiting in the usual spot on the end
table.
No, Santa noted. The plate
was there but only a few crumbs remained. He smiled and chuckled to himself.
One of the parents must have had a case of the munchies and finished them off
early. No matter. It happened more often than one might think.
Santa reached into his bag
and retrieved the gift for the home’s only
child, Mikarite. When he stepped toward the tree, however, he froze like the
pond outside One North Pole. Another gift, in the exact same wrapping paper and
of the exact same size, was already under the tree.
“That’s
impossible.”
He lifted the other gift and
noted that while the wrapping paper looked identical, featuring this year’s
polar bear and snow flake print, it felt slightly different - thinner and
cheaper. The name tag was in his distinctive handwriting, though, daring to
proclaim it from Santa. Even the gift inside, which he could determine
instinctively by Christmas Magic, was the same set of new soccer cleats that
were in the official gift he’d brought.
Santa’s
heart thudded deep in his chest. Fear wasn’t a part of his existence, but this
was as disturbing as anything he’d ever encountered in all his years. His eyes
flicked back to the empty plate. Maybe it hadn’t been the parents after all.
What could he do? It would
be unethical to take the present, even if only to replace it with an identical
one. He couldn’t leave both, as that would cause
confusion and decrease belief in him.
And who the blazes had
impersonated him and how? Had the elves concocted some grand practical joke as
payback for the Christmas in July joke he’d played
on them over the summer break? Unlikely, but he was at a loss for any other
feasible explanation.
Santa returned the gift that
had been placed there first and stuffed his own back into his sack. It seemed
the least problematic solution until he had some answers. With a reluctant
wiggle of his nose, he shot back up to his sleigh and guided his team to the
next house.
#
“I’ve
got nothing, Santa,” Ginger said. Even through the snow globe, his right-hand
elf’s expression was sufficiently terrified to convince Santa she was not in on
some joke at his expense. “Every single house?”
“Thousands
so far,” Santa confirmed. “And every last one is the same. Occasionally the
gifts are slightly different, but close to being the one I brought. When they
are different, it’s usually just a bit cheaper in quality.”
She threw up her arms. “An
impostor? But why? And how? I mean, it takes Christmas Magic to deliver the
gifts while stopping time. Only you can do that.”
He’d
already reached the same conclusion. “It’s like there’s another me out there.”
“It
doesn’t work like that, though,” Ginger said. “People aren’t believing in
different Santas.”
Santa nodded. They just
looked at each other through the snow globe in silence while the sleigh raced
on across the water toward the next island. What else was there to say or do?
“I’ll
gather up the team,” Ginger said, referring to the elf logistics experts. “See
if we can find you some answers.”
“Please
do.”
“What
about you?”
Santa sighed. “I
guess I’ll stick to the schedule. Can’t risk any gifts not being delivered.”
“We’ll
figure it out, boss.” With a task to perform under pressure, Ginger reverted to
her traditional upbeat elvish self.
#
The story remained the same
as Santa continued his routes through eastern Russia, New Zealand, Japan, Papua
New Guinea, and eastern Australia. The impostor was mimicking Santa’s
job, only doing it before he could. Because he was running behind the other, there
were no cookies left for him or carrots for his team. Santa relied on those
sources of fuel to keep him going through the night. Less than a tenth of the
way through his list, he was woozy and the reindeer were showing signs of
fatigue.
With a distressingly
fully-loaded sleigh, Santa returned to One North Pole for updates and to swap
out his load with the gifts for the next zone. Mrs. Claus,
uncharacteristically, met him in the barn, bearing a very welcome tray of
Christmas cookies. The reindeer handlers, meanwhile, were ready with an extra
measure of oats and apples for the team.
“No
luck yet?” Santa’s wife asked, unable to hide her concern.
Santa shook his head. “This
could be the biggest disaster since…” He glanced Rudolph’s way and she nodded
in understanding.
“Well,
that night turned out okay in the end, didn’t it?” She said. “Maybe this is
just setting the stage for another Christmas night of legend.”
He gave her a quick kiss on
the cheek. It didn’t feel like that kind of night, but
maybe she was right. He needed that optimism.
“Boss,”
Ginger said, calling him from across the shop.
Santa grabbed another
handful of cookies and excused himself to see what his lead elf had come up
with. Ginger, along with Snap, Pepper, Starlight, and Mortimer, pointed to a
larger snow globe that was set up on a work bench.
“Find
anything?” Santa said.
Ginger pursed her lips. “Not
directly, but we can infer some things from what we don’t see.”
Santa looked into the snow
globe and found what appeared to be a home’s internal
security camera footage. It wasn’t pointed directly at the family’s Christmas
tree - such video would inevitably fail if it might accidentally or
intentionally try to capture his arrival. It did, however, catch a reflection
of the tree in a family portrait hung in the hallway near the living room. It
was subtle, only a couple of blurry pixels, but he could see when one moment
there were no gifts and the next they were there. It was exactly what it would
look like had he delivered them.
“And
what does this tell us?” he said.
“Time
stamp verification puts this at 11:55pm, just a few minutes ahead of you,”
Ginger said. “We’ve been able to corroborate this with hundreds of others.”
That wasn’t
much and the looks on the elves’ faces reflected his own sinking feelings. Once
upon a time, this wouldn’t have been a problem. It used to be that he delivered
gifts after the children were asleep and time was less specific. Over the
years, though, it had generally become accepted that he delivered at midnight.
There were sneaky ways around kids who were still awake, but he was now
obligated to work within the restraint of belief and expectation.
“Thanks,”
Santa said.
Ginger frowned. “So,
how do we get ahead of this…other?”
Santa glanced up at the big
world map posted on the opposite wall, the one that showed the various delivery
zones for the gift loading crews. His eyes wandered over it until settling on
one specific out-of-the-way spot. Maybe, just maybe…
Ginger smiled, clearly
reading him. “You figured it out?”
“No,”
he said, “but I do have an idea.”
With a twinkle in his eye
and a bounce in his step, Santa hurried over to the sleigh and launched into
the starlit sky. He even let out a deep, “Ho, ho,
ho,” finally feeling a bit of the spirit that had been absent since his first
delivery attempt.
#
Santa drove his team hard
over the Pacific and the vast expanse of the Australian Outback. Finally, on
that continent’s southern coast, he banked in for
a landing on the outskirts of Eucla. It was a tiny town of only about fifty
people, little more than a pit stop along the Eyre Highway. There were a small
smattering of Christmas lights adorning the buildings, though, enough to give
it a festive feel despite the mild summer evening in the desert.
“Stay
here and wait for me,” Santa said to his team to allay their confusion over
being left away from the house where he would be delivering gifts. Santa slung
a sack over his back and headed for the small house he had in mind, this one
with a classic chimney.
He slipped down and inside
the home, dim save for a small tree in the corner and silent aside from some
distant snoring in an adjacent bedroom. Thanks to his magic, no one would hear
a peep from his presence, even as he allowed time to flow normally for a
change.
Santa approached the tree
and, to his immense relief, found there were no gifts from “him”
yet. He unslung his bag and placed Elizabeth’s new skateboard under the tree,
feeling an immense rush of joy from the act. He then indulged in the cookies
and milk left out for him.
Forty minutes later,
precisely on time, Santa came down the chimney.
“Ho.
Ho. Ho.” Santa stood, crossing his arms across his chest and staring at the
very startled other Santa.
Time had stopped at
precisely five minutes to midnight, just as it would have for Santa at
midnight. That they were both moving and able to interact meant this other
Santa was also functioning on Christmas Magic.
“Well,
this is awkward,” the other Santa said, dusting himself off and setting his
sack on the floor.
Santa nodded, taking full
measure of the other. They were, indeed, nearly identical. The other, however,
was just a bit fatter. For lack of a better word, the other had a slightly
greasy appearance about him. His mannerisms, too, were just a bit off - impatient
and arrogant.
“To
say the least,” Santa said.
“How
did you…?”
Santa cocked a bushy
eyebrow. “Get ahead of you?”
“Yeah.”
“Since
settling on delivering at midnight, I took to using the official, legal
timezones of humanity.”
The other looked puzzled for
a moment, then nodded in understanding. “Eucla. It’s
part of Western Australia that officially only uses Australian Western Standard
Time. But the locals use what they call Australian Central Western Standard
Time, which is forty-five minutes ahead.”
Santa nodded. “And
because the locals consider it official, I was able to as well.”
“Nice
little technicality there,” the other said. “I should have anticipated that.”
“Rookie
mistake.”
The other gave a wry grin. “Okay,
so that means you’ll have gotten to deliver a handful of presents this year.
Well played. The rest are mine.”
“That
would be a mistake,” Santa said.
The other puffed up his
chest. “Oh? I’m sure you’ll tell me why,
old man.”
Santa’s
eyes narrowed, but he didn’t take the bait.
“You’re
the Santa of Christmas Creep, I presume?”
The other gave an
exaggerated bow. “In the flesh, finally.”
Santa, in tune to all things
Christmas, was well aware of how the holiday had evolved over the years. It was
just over the last decade or two, however, when he’d
felt an incredible and unpleasant pressure exerting on him from outside.
Humanity had felt it, too, and named it Christmas Creep. Stores were displaying
holiday wares earlier and earlier. Television specials, holiday concerts, and
decorative displays were appearing before Thanksgiving and now even closer to
the beginning of November. Worse, more and more people were giving gifts early
and expecting the same of him when it was otherwise inconvenient to stick to
the traditional schedule. All together, it was diluting the holiday season and
invoking a general disdain rather than festive spirit.
He and the elves had
actively worked against this creep, though their ability to influence the
holiday so far out was limited. Black Friday had actually been one of their
ideas, one they’d hoped would firmly mark the
official beginning of the season and limit the damage from those trying to
start it earlier. Unfortunately, it might have only made things worse in the
long run as now retailers began Black Friday sales the week before Thanksgiving
and now over the entire month of November.
Santa strongly suspected
this latest development had allowed the Creep to manifest. There was now just
enough belief in premature celebrating and Santa coming early to satisfy the
Powers That Be. Santa had resisted this change rather than adapt to it as he
had with so many others over the years, now he saw the result of that tactic.
“This
isn’t going to end well,” Santa said.
Creep rolled his eyes, like
a teen enduring a lecture from his parent. “Why not?
I’m what you should have become. I doubt you’ll last the year, yet Christmas
will endure. I’ll still be here and no one will ever be the wiser. After all, I’m
Santa Claus.”
“And
you’ll be presiding over a fading holiday, one that’s lost meaning.”
Creep chuckled. “You’ve
already been doing a bang-up job of that, old man. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be
here.”
Santa wanted to slap the
Creep upside the head with his sack. He wouldn’t
hand Christmas over to this dilution if he could possibly help it. The spirit
of the holiday was still strong, despite its strains. It had to remain in
strong hands.
“There’s
room for the both of us,” Santa said.
Creep scoffed. “You’re
just trying to save your generous ass.”
Santa had hoped to handle
this diplomatically. The odds of that working were looking weaker by the
moment.
“What
I’m suggesting is that you could cater to those who shop early and celebrate
early. I would handle the traditionalists, thereby keeping the spirit of the
season strong.”
Santa didn’t
like the offer, but did genuinely feel it could work. Besides, it was in his
nature to be generous and giving this time of year.
Creep’s
eyes narrowed and he let out chuckle that might have sounded jolly to anyone
without a more refined ear.
“Nice
try, Santa,” he said. “But I know you don’t really believe that there can be
two of us. You know why? Because I’m you and I don’t believe it. So step aside,
old man, and let me get on with the long night ahead. Enjoy your retirement in
oblivion. You’ve earned it.”
Creep slung his sack over
his shoulder. He glanced back, put his finger against his nose and gave a
playful wink, and vanished up the chimney in a flash. Moments later, Santa
could hear the clatter of reindeer on the roof taking flight.
He slumped down in the home’s
recliner and stared blankly at the Christmas tree. Had he made a fatal mistake
by resisting the pressure to change this time? He’d felt he needed to make a
stand on principle. Was he going to pay the price for that attitude?
The Powers That Be wouldn’t
listen to his pleas. The only way to stop the Creep was to change popular
belief. But on Christmas night and when the pendulum was swinging against him?
It seemed impossible. How to pull it off within the rules?
The rules.
Santa dug into his coat
pocket and withdrew his small snow globe. He shook it vigorously, transforming
the miniature version of One North Pole into a blizzard. Moments later, the
snow intensified and then faded into the face of Ginger.
“How’d
it go, boss?”
“As
poorly as I’d feared,” he said.
Her face fell. “Peppermint
sticks.”
“I
need you to do something for me, and fast.”
The elf gathered herself,
all business again. “What?”
“I
need you to put together a list of those kids that are the biggest sticklers
for rules. Starting with those in the closest time zones and working out from
there.”
Ginger nodded. Santa knew
her curiosity was burning, but the explanation could wait.
#
Santa guided his sleigh in
for a gift refill after finishing a pass through eastern Europe. This time, the
sleigh was truly empty, all the gifts having been delivered. The attitude of
the elves had buoyed considerably and they set to work reloading for his next
leg. Santa got out to stretch.
“I
see an empty sleigh,” Ginger said, hurrying over from her station while trying
to act nonchalant about it.
“Indeed.”
Ginger narrowed her eyes. “And?”
Santa grinned. “And
what?”
The elf scowled. “You’re
going to make me ask, aren’t you?”
“Ask
what?”
Ginger sighed. “Fine.
How did you do it? How’d you set things right?”
Santa chuckled. “I
dug deep into my bag of tricks. ‘Visions of sugarplums, danced in their heads.’”
“Huh?”
“I
went into the dreams of the children from the list you compiled and gave them
visions of an impostor delivering gifts early. I was able to startle many of
them awake, right in that short gap between 11:55 and midnight. The curious
ones went looking for signs I’d been there. When they found gifts from ‘Santa’
but delivered before midnight, they got suspicious.”
Ginger frowned. “But
wouldn’t that actually make them more likely to believe in the Creep?”
“Perhaps,”
Santa said with a grin. “Only, I then appeared promptly at midnight while they
were awake and looking at the suspect gift.”
“Wait,
what?! You appeared to them in person?”
Santa nodded. “I’ve
done it enough before that it’s accepted as allowable under extenuating
circumstances. Kids will accept it. I merely confirmed that their dreams had
been true and that I was there to trade out the false gift for the real one. I
then thanked them for believing in me and sent them off to bed.”
“Amazing.”
“I
only had to do it enough times to create a bit of strong disbelief in the
Creep. Since he manifested only just this year, it meant belief in his
existence was right on the cusp of being enough. Only took a small nudge to
push him back into the realm of un-manifested potential.”
“Well
played, Santa,” Ginger said in genuine amazement. “But what about next year?”
Santa’s
expression saddened a bit. “We’ve got a lot of work to do in the off-season.
Send a memo to the team. I want ideas from everyone on my desk by New Year’s
Day.”
Ginger smiled and saluted. “Sure
thing, boss!”
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